Remember when FedEx had the motto "When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight"? Remember when you believed that? Yeah, me neither. It all started during the Christmas shopping season a couple of years ago. In the midst of a pandemic, lots of things were ordered, lots of things were shipped, lots of things were delivered on time. Everything except the stuff that was shipped on FedEx. I had stuff delivered via USPS, UPS, DHL, Amazon and it was always on time. At least on the proper day. FedEx? It was anybody's guess when stuff shipped on FedEx was going to show up. Same last Christmas. If something shipped FedEx, arrival time (date) was a crap-shoot. I tell you all of that to get to current events.

On Monday 4/18 I ordered a new hat from Fanatics. The website said they expected the order to get here Monday 4/25. OK. Cool. Made some plans to not be home for the weekend. Got an email that night from Fanatics telling me the order had shipped and giving me the tracking number. The FedEx tracking number. Of course, there's no update on the tracking number that night, but a check the next day on the FedEx site reveals that the package was set to be delivered not on Monday the 25th, but on Saturday, 4/23 between 10AM and 12:45PM. Well shit. Usually, you like getting something earlier than you thought you were going to, but if you make plans based on the original date, it kinda messes those up. No biggie. I can make a trip back here around 1PM and grab the package so it doesn't sit outside my apartment door until Monday morning.

Throughout Saturday morning the FedEx site continued to say that delivery was scheduled between 10:00AM and 12:45PM. I showed up at the apartment about 1:00, no package. A check of the FedEx site now said delivery was expected by the end of the day. Still set for Saturday the 23rd, but no time given. I hung around until 4:00, still nothing, then decided to get back to my weekend. About 8:00 that night, the FedEx site updated and said delivery was scheduled back on the original 4/25 date, between those dreaded 10AM and 12:45 hours. Oh well, at least it wasn't going to sit outside my front door until I got home Monday morning.

A Monday morning check of the FedEx site confirmed the 10AM to 12:45 delivery was still on and the detailed history showed that the packaged had indeed arrived at the Greenwood (South Indianapolis) FedEx facility at 6:30 Saturday night. Explains why it couldn't show up at my house on Saturday, but why did they originally say it would and why did they not update the info during transit when it became obvious it couldn't? 12:45 came and went. No package. Check the website. Delivery scheduled by the end of the day, Monday 4/25. What the actual hell?

It's 9:30PM Monday 4/25 as I'm typing this. I still do not have my new hat. The FedEx site now says: Scheduled delivery: Pending. Translation: They have NO DAMN IDEA when they plan to bring me my hat. Pretty much like they had NO DAMN IDEA when my hat was going to arrive when they said the minute they got it that it would be here on the 23rd. If this were a one-off it could be excused, but it's not. It is the FedEx norm. It all started that Christmas season a couple of years ago. FedEx is terrible. Totally unreliable. Cannot get things to their destination on time anymore. I don't know what happened. I cannot remember the last time something shipped to me on FedEx got here when it was supposed to. The worst part is I have seen that "Scheduled delivery: Pending" many other times. It's like they don't know when they are going to deliver it.

I can live with slower than normal delivery. We are nowhere near a normal post-pandemic world. But dammit, don't lie to me. Don't give me a date, miss that date, give me a new date, then turn around and miss that one too.

UPDATE: 6:30PM 4/26. Still no hat. FedEx site says, after the package arrived in Greenwood at 6:30PM on 4/23, it sat for 54 hours then departed for the Indianapolis facility at 12:30AM THIS MORNING, getting the arrival scan a full SIX HOURS LATER at 6:30AM. 12 hours ago. Now for those of you that don't know, I suspect the drive time from the Greenwood facility to the Indy facility is maybe 30 minutes, even with the God awful southside traffic on 465. Why it took my hat 6 hours to get there is beyond me. And if this Indy facility is the massive one out by the airport, I KNOW for a FACT, that it is less than 20 miles from my apartment. Again, nowhere near 12 hours, even in the worst traffic. WHERE IS MY DAMN HAT?!?!? It has been less than 30 minutes from me for 3 days now. Status on the FedEx site? You guessed it...Scheduled delivery: Pending.